"Whamo! Me in a cult?"
March 15, 2000
By a former follower of Ronald Spencer--a.k.a. "Buddha Maitreya"
A 55-year-old professional
pulled into a cult.
Wow! Perhaps it's finally time to give up that boyhood trust, but
it's not something I really ever wanted to lose. I had been looking
for something that I guess I had either lost or never truly found.
Those easy, simple answers lured me in--like bait on a hook. It seems
like there are a lot of fishermen out there these days.
It really started a long
time ago. Maybe it was my Mom reading me "Gulliver's Travels."
I loved to hear about such adventures and stare at the unbelievable
pictures. And I was always interested in life's questions
(Why?)--there are so many varied and often conflicting answers.
Spiritually
seeking
My wife and I tried TM
(Transcendental
Meditation) when it was first introduced in the 70's. My wife
stopped meditating, but I continued for a few more years. Then
running took its place and my weight went down--so did my smoking and
other bad habits. This lasted for many years. I kept adding more
such as "healing touch," "energy mastery" "Reiki"
and "magnified healing"--until I became interested in
Kaballah [Note: A controversial organization, which studies
"Kaballah," is called the "Kaballah
Centre"]. Our son is very cerebral and his Jewish
background brought both of us into such mysticism--it was
enlightening.
Later I was introduced and
initiated into "Kriya Yoga"[see helpful
guidelines for ethical yoga instruction]. This
exercise/meditation was more intense and there was some sort of
deeper realization they dangled in front of us. The Self-Realization
Fellowship's lessons and services gave me a sense of belonging
and being chosen--thats pretty cool! Then came "Sufism,"--it
seemed endless.
A substantial amount of my
friends were now Asian Indian. My wife was answering phone messages
from people with strange sounding names. A home meditation center
was designated and I was playing mostly eastern music. My spare time
was becoming increasingly introspective. My professional practice
and
family was taking a second
seat to my new "habit." I was developing guru relationships
with more than one Paramahansas. Who was my guru?
I learned that when I was ready he would appear--and I was sure
ready and willing.
"Buddhist"
group
I heard about a certain
"Buddhist" group that used "metatronic tools" and
based their understanding of the soul and individual personality upon
rays of light. Each ray was supposedly associated with certain
distinct personalities. This appeared at first to be mystical and
very cerebral--fitting within my previous studies and understanding
of Kaballah. I met a so-called "Buddhist monk," ordered
their books and signed up for a "darshan" (i.e. one-week
intensive seminar) in the mountains of Mount Shasta, California.
Soon I was using the word
"cool" again. And a new term "trippy" became part
of my vocabulary--it was like the old jargon of my high school days.
Everybody was asked to dress completely in white and bring a tape
player. I traveled light--thinking that this was the guru I had been
searching for.
The food at the "darshan"
was wonderful. The women who prepared and served it were wonderful
too. It had been a long time since I had been served with so much
love and joy. People attending were carried away by all the attention
and "honor" of being there. We quickly lost our sense of
connection with the outside.
"Buddha
Maitreya"
The leader "Buddha
Maitreya" humbly introduced himself--there was no fanfare and he
was simply
dressed. This man
certainly did not seem to live lavishly--his tennis shoes were worn.
He was certainly "60's cool" with very deep, dark,
penetrating eyes. I had never seen eyes like his--they would stop
you. That is, stop your own thoughts! The person who told me about
this "darshan" had been studying many energy related
subjects--and it seemed that what they said was certainly right. This
was a group that had the most tremendous focus and dedication I had
ever experienced!
The "monks"
worked 18 or more hours every day without complaints. Everyone was
honored and grateful to be a part of the "ashram" or
"Sangha House" as it was called--supervised by "Buddha
Maitreya," ("His Holiness" or "H. H.").
"H.H.'s" lessons
were given at unusual times throughout the day and sometimes very
late into the night for eight to ten hours. They were filled with
great stories, always about himself, and many clever
"understandings." He told us that being separated
"separateness" was the worst sin. Also, anyone who told you
that they knew it all was--"dark lodge." And "guru"
meant "G gee-U you-R are-U
you." That sounded so "Right On."
"Brainwashing"?
Later, I would come to
understand that everything he criticized, concerning incorrect
behavior and thinking--were actually things he was doing. How he
labeled it as wrong within others, but got away with it himself--was
a piece of his brainwashing.
He wanted to separate us
from everything but himself [see Milieu
Control]. If we gave our individuality up and followed him we
could remember our "pure soul" [see Demand
for Purity] and find the many awesome answers we had all been
looking for. How easy it seemed. Why not? We would be eating such
wonderful, blessed food (from the same menu) and be with the
"reincarnation of Buddha"--and later we learned, Jesus too.
Our instruction proceeded
as we were fed one mouthful at a time--as we were filled we also
emptied ourselves of what we had brought with us. And we didn't go
home with much money either. Our money was spent for the "darshan,"
"tools" and books. Everything was blessed and there were
very beautiful crystals in the "metatronic designs." All
of "H.H.'s" designs were supposed to be telepathically sent
to his "monks," so even though they manufactured them, this
was an accomplishment they shared with "H.H." So very
"trippy"! If something didn't seem right, went unexplained
or was questioned, never mind--it was somehow related to the fact
that we were processing and/or awaking "old soul" material
[see Doctrine
Over Person].
Coming back home was hard.
Although now everything seemed to be in right relation--I was on a
different plane than everyone else. I seemed to have answers for
everything. Everything had a simple answer, but the answers were not
mine. Actually, everything was not mine--I had become part of someone
else. Someone else was giving directions now and I didn't have to
worry. What a relief! My soul was being integrated.
I kept in communication
with the other participants and we planned our next "darshan"
on "H. H.'s" birthday--we were invited, chosen and special.
Now it was time for intense "soul therapy." I bought
a pyramid from the group,
other "tools" and kept reading their books about the rays
("Tapestry of the Gods") and played their music. Mind
stilling, hypnotic, subliminally suggestive music with drumming,
chanting and "H.H."--continuously lecturing while the music
played rhythmically in the background. He lectured about the rays and
other beliefs. All the tapes and compact discs I purchased from the
group were carefully put together by "H. H."
My friends and family were
silent about what I had stepped into. If something had been said
something to me--it probably would have fallen upon deaf ears. The
people in my life listened politely. I told them about using the
tools that seemed to posses some energy and the books that gave me
the deeper understanding that I had always searched for. Of course
"H.H. Buddha Maitreya" was becoming ever more present in my
consciousness. I began giving him more and more credit for the
positive changes in around me. But why?
After two more "darshans"
that involved a close friend--we were invited to join the "Sangha
"--an extended group that was closely aligned with a "worldwide
ashram." Our "enlightenment" and "recapitulating"
then would occur at an even faster pace. The clothes were ordered,
but before they arrived someone said, "You might be part
of a 'cult.'"
Whamo! Me in a
cult?
I tried to shake it off, but knew it was true and it blew my socks
off. I had been betrayed, "spiritually raped" and I was
mad. I had also brought a close friend into this. I now felt the
embarrassment of sharing with friends and family the so-called
"tools" and the pyramid at my office.
Now I was apologizing for
everything previously said. After making apologies I started to
spread the news and contacted others involved. Looking back it is
hard to believe that I entered such a trap under the influence of
someone who now appears be a master con man. But before when people
close to me said, "You are acting strange"--I just saw them
as "the lost ones" [see Dispensing
of Existence].
In the beginning I
received so many calls from the ashram center either trying to sell
me something, or arrange for another darshan. I should have known.
The monks work long hours and risk injuring themselves and others by
driving without sleep. I should have known. It should have been
obvious too through the music (with "H.H.'s" droning voice
offering his lessons), which played 24 hours a day--that we were
being continuously programmed. We were not allowed to get away and
there was no free time.
Warning
signs
Several times the monks
frankly stated "H.H." (a.k.a. Ronald L. Spencer) was tough,
very tough and did not deal on the emotional level. Was Christ
without compassion? During the three darshans I attended Ron told
the same 'funny' tales. Maybe his stories were funny the first time,
but it seems like the same anecdotes were often over used. Was
Christ obsessed with talking about farts and turds?
Doubts came and went, but
the music always seemed to be pulling me back and I wanted to
believe. I ignored all the warning
signs because it was so comforting belonging to and being part of
such a special group of like-minded seekers.
I realize now that there
was a widening gap of separation developing through my group
experience, which was pulling me away from my personal roots and
individual value system. This should have been my first clue.
Anything that tends to pry you away from your family and values
should at least be suspect. I had always been very
trusting--especially regarding people who held positions of respect.
Maybe this was naïve, but that was my early schooling. Sadly,
it seems time for me move beyond those childhood ideals--gradually a
balance is emerging.
Ron
Spencer
Ron Spencer [a.k.a.
"Buddha Maitreya"] appears to have an ugly background. Ron
seems to be a common con man who exploits others. He has had several
wives and left behind children. He may have been wanted once by the
English authorities and is being watched more carefully here in the
states. There have also been allegations of sexual abuse and
exploitation between Ron and at least one former female follower.
When I started looking
into various allegations regarding Ronald Spencer he responded by
claiming I had "lost it" was emotionally unfit and trying
to manipulate others. He was playing his mind games again.
Subsequently I was excommunicated and designated within his category
of "Dark Lodge" [a negative term used by the group--see
"Loaded
Language"]. The supposed "Dark Lodge" can be a
pretty lonely place, but it was heaven compared to where I was once
headed for.
Since being excommunicated
I began to read a highly recommended book, "Captive
Hearts, Captive Minds" by Tobias. After the first three
chapters it became clear to me that I had been with a real
Psychopath [sic]--someone
without feelings, only out for their own gain, exploiting and power
tripping over others. A very sick man. It made me sick to think that
I had taken the bait and was so close to being reeled in.
Healing
But that sickness was the
first part of healing for me and I worked through it and probed that
discomfort to better understand the experience and myself.
Thankfully, there were others willing to help in that process. Many
issues and relationships seem clearer to me now. Maybe it sometimes
takes shaking things up a bit --to get the dust off and clarify
things through a new perspective.
Finally though, I
concluded that "H. H. Buddha Maitreya" [Ron Spencer] had
ironically given me an opportunity to grow and realize the importance
of self-introspection. I find myself actually thanking him for that.
And I would rather be thankful than resentful, which seems like a
more positive attitude for my recovery and healing.
After all that I have
experienced it seems to me--that when we feel lonely and isolated we
should not go searching for something outside of ourselves. But look
inside instead--for a deeper and more loving sense of who and what we
are and hopefully a better understanding of our own individual self
worth.
Copyright © Rick Ross
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